Toddler Tales Part 2

I know that I have been griping about my kid a lot lately. I doubt you really want to hear it, but it helps me to get things off my chest.She is awesome but a constant challenge every day.

Words

Lil has a limited vocabulary. Yet, she knows how to effectively use the important words.

The other day while strolling down the bread aisle at Safeway my child let one rip and then proudly proclaimed in her loudest voice 'Gas!' She was very proud of herself and to my dismay she let everyone else in the grocery store know of her feat.

Voicing Her Opinion
Lily entered this world with both eyes wide open ready to tackle anything. It is either her way or the highway. Unfortunate for her that she also has a strong-willed mother who is not going to take a physical (or in this case verbal) beating lightly. Over the last few days Lily has developed something I like to call 'Accelerated Screaming.' It usually starts out as a moaning protest, which then progresses to tears and ultimately ends in her making the most horrific noise I have ever heard come from a small child. I would compare this deep and throaty scream to a combination of a growling lion and a person being burned alive. Not super pleasant.

She has chosen to use this tactic at bedtime, when having her shirt changed and even when she wants an apple from the fridge. Obviously all major crises. She even decided to whip out the scream during gymnastics today. While all the other little toddlers sat sweetly on their mats awaiting their turn to do a somersault with the instructor, Lily decided that she had waited long enough and bellowed the scream at the top of her lungs. The other parents stared at us in disbelief and disgust. I know what they were thinking. ' Wow, I am glad that my child does not act like that.'

You know what I say to these other parents (metaphorically of course because I am a lot more confrontational in my mind than in reality)? So what. At least my kid has an outgoing personality and is not a little dud. Life tends to be easier for people willing to take chances and voice their opinion.

I just need to figure out how to harness her energy and bend her will to my own. That sounded like a line out of Lord of the Rings didn't it? But it is true. I need to learn how to take her scream down a notch for my own sanity and to ensure that she does not scare away potential friends.

Young Love

It has got to be love when....

a boy invites you over to hang out in his 'vacation home'

offers you a ride on his sweet wheels

takes you for a nature date

and invites you for a dip in his personal pool.

Ahh... young love. It's so cute until they are 13.

Lessons from Las Vegas

1.Traveling with a group of males promises to include at least 5 farting jokes by the end of the weekend.

2. As long as you have a young child you will never be able to sleep in- this even includes while in Las Vegas sans the kid and out until 3am.

3. A human being is not meant to eat half a cow in one sitting.

4. $3 flip-flops stuffed in your purse will be your best friend when your 4" heels fail you.


5. Chubby (and some morbidly obese) girls squeezed into micro-minis can do wonders for the average gal's self-esteem.


6. No matter how much your husband insists that he will look hot rocking a mustache it simply isn't true.

Toddler Tales

Have you ever overheard a parent saying 'I can't be on the phone for 5 minutes without -insert child's name here- getting into everything.' I am officially that parent and Lil is that child.

Over the last week the following has happened when my child was left alone for anywhere ranging from 30 seconds to 5 minutes.

1. Lil grabbed the egg carton out of the fridge and proceeded to crack half a dozen eggs on the kitchen floor and the playroom carpet. I still have to figure out how to get the yolk stain out of the cream colored carpet.

2. While I was in my closet getting changed, Lil decided it would be fun to take a bottle of her dad's hair gel and squeeze it into a slimy pile on my bedroom carpet. Hmmm... does anyone else see a theme here? Good thing the carpets in our rental home are a tad bit grimy to begin with.

The last incident took place yesterday morning. 3. Lily loves my makeup and decided that she needed a mid-morning makeover. The toddler picked up my huge Sephora eyeshadow kit and dug her little fingernails into most of my favorite shades. She then proceeded to paint her cheek with some lovely shades of turquoise and aubergine. Once again this whole episode happened over my hallway carpet.

What have I learned from these experiences? Lil is very tactile and I need to make sure that our next house does not have a single square foot of carpet.

Death by Sweetness

This is what I spent my weekend doing.

Eating this...

And some of these...

And way too many of these....

I am shaking from my post-sugar crash. My teeth are going to fall out and my poor liver is probably working triple-time to filter the high toxicity level pumping through my body.My name is Sarah and I am a sugaroholic. Sugar is my drug of choice.

This week will be spent repenting of my sweet sins at the gym.

Mustache Month

As many of our faithful readers already know, Ben loves celebrating his Birthday. This year is especially important because my dear husband will be turning the ripe old age of 30 on March 19th. In anticipation of his big day, Ben has been cultivating a lovely little mustache for the last few weeks. As a young boy, Ben always correlated being a 'grown-up' man with having a serious stache. Since 30 is definitely in 'grown-up' territory he will be sporting his hairy growth until the impending Birthday weekend away in Las Vegas. I will be documenting this monumental experience for all to enjoy over the next few weeks.

Please note: the mustache is currently having its creepiness factor toned down by the adjoining goatee. Don't worry all other facial hair except that which is grown above the lip will be clean-shaven by the 19th.

Cool Cousins

Lil loves her cousin Forest. She loves to feed him her play bottles and even push him around the house in a tiny stroller.

Mini-Me

Shermcat Party of 5 documented similar photos in their blog but I wanted to share another rendition of the same shot.

 When Calliou is playing on TV it is difficult to make 3 kids under the age of 2 simultaneously look at the camera. Lil appears angry at the whole situation. Funny thing is that I have know these babies mama's from when we were all children. I think the second generation is just getting cuter!

Snippet

Delightful Daddy-Daughter Weekend Scene.

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