Creepy Vintage Ads

This has been circulating for a couple of weeks but I couldn't resist sharing it with everyone... This list is courtesy of retrocomedy.com.

These are real, untouched advertisements from the good old days. It doesn’t matter if it’s lovely ladies or adorable clowns, somehow these old-time ad wizards found ways to traumatize us while pedaling everyday products.

Enjoy them now, call your therapist later!

15. White Bread Demon

“Bread is swell, but what I’m really excited about is eating jelly made from the blood of the innocent!”

14. French Suicide Sausage
It’s enough to make you want to eat Kosher forever.

13. A Girl Around The House
It’s nice to have a girl around the house… especially if you are a psychopath serial killer who makes women into rugs!

12. Chubby
Who needs self-esteem when you can have a free fashion book for chubbies? Also, proving that advertising weight representation has always been screwed up, the girl pictured is totally not chubby.

11. Christmas Weapons
The family that guns together, has funs together.

10. Eye patch. Shirt. Baby Tiger.
Sexy?

9. Chase & Sandborn Spanking
She totally deserves it. Seriously, what kind of woman doesn’t “store test” for fresher coffee?

8. Fry’s Chocolate Nightmare
Nothing wants to make consumers buy chocolate more than 5 faces of a sickly kid looking 5 different shades of miserable.

7. Root Beer Baby!
Mama, please DO NOT give your baby another glass of Root Beer. It is clearly doing something horrible to him. He is terrifying.

6. Locked Out
You better use Lysol, or your husband will install cartoon locks on the door.

5. Pears Soap Disaster
“Pears Soap- now with such a soothing lather, you won’t notice that your baby has gotten into a horrible accident!”

4. Postage Meter Murder
“Is it always illegal to kill a woman?” This is a truly important question and makes us want to buy a new postage meter.

3. Shave Yourself
The old man baby’s gonna sing karaoke into a razor! Hooray!

2. Baby Soft
JonBenét Ramsey, eat your heart out. (Too soon?) This ad makes us want to scream, gouge out our eyes and then barf.

1. Chocolate Poulain
Drink that cocoa, or this clown will murder you in your sleep.

We Have Too Much Crap!!

Phew, I feel much better now that I have that off of my chest...

Today we started sifting through the various closets/rooms/storage spaces of our home. How do
2 1/2 people accumulate so much 'stuff' in 7 years of marriage? Ben and I are both self-proclaimed pack-rats and our house is proof that two hoarders under one roof can only spell T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

Here are a couple of things that we found today:
- Christmas Cards from 2004.
- Heating bill (unpaid, whoops) from 2006 found under a pile of other random junk-mail in the bottom of a laundry hamper.
- 2 Air Canada emergency travel kits complete with folding hair-brush,mini-toothpaste and blow-up pillow.
- A cat grooming glove.
- A plastic sandwich baggy of photos from Ben's sailing trip to Great Britain (he was 16).
- A Norwegian sweater.

This list could keep on going but you've got the idea, right? Poor Lily does not have a chance, our hording genes are way to strong. I am nervous that one day I am going to find a collection of half-eaten crackers and toe nail clippings that she is keeping under her bed for a 'rainy day.' OK, maybe that was a little extreme. But we seriously have kept some bizarre stuff.

If you are interested in viewing said 'bizarre stuff' for yourself, or better yet purchasing a few of our items you should swing by our Garage Sale happening this Saturday. It is going to be a blast. All the action will go down from 9AM-1PM. If you knock on my door at 7:30AM I will not answer and glare down at you while still in my jammies- so no early birds please. But show up a little later and I promise to cut you a mean deal on an Air Canada emergency travel kit.

Grace

Wow, I am feeling stuffed. Physcially, Mentally and Spiritually.

Over the last couple of days our family participated in an event called Grace Camp. Ben's parents put their hearts and souls into organizing this weekend-long event for the last few months. The camp included a series of different talks, music, hanging out and way too much food. In the end nearly 200 people of all different ages showed up to check out all of the action. For more info about the event you can click here

I have to be completely honest and say that I was a little apprehensive about the whole thing. Really, a whole weekend of 'church?' A camp that focuses on grace- umm.. this isn't 'cultish' or anything? I refuse to drink the 'Cool-Aid'. Obviously I was not sure what to expect from Grace Camp and I figured that I would just attend as an innocent bystander. The funny thing is that sometimes God speaks to us in times (or camps) when we least expect it. Our speaker for the weekend taught a message that I could relate to- a type of Christianity that is loving, non-judgmental and free of constant striving. Take a deep breath? Hmm... many people would not describe Christianity this way. I think that is unfortunate.

I am still mulling over some of the concepts/topics that were brought up over the weekend. If you are interested there are a couple of teachers that are passionate about the message of Grace.
Just click on their names and it will direct you to their websites.
Grace Walk Ministries
Joseph Prince Ministries
Peter Youngren Ministries

Life of Lil

It has been a while since Lil made an appearance on the blog. This is what she has been up to!

Snacking on apples off the tree in our yard.

Lil has been busy growing her hair out too. Check out her first 'real' ponytail above.

Hanging out with some friends. Not only is sand fun to throw but recently it has proved to be a tasty treat. Yum.

Twist

OK, here is the reason why I have not posted in over a week. I am pleased to announce the official launch of my company, Twist Communications Consulting! You can check out all of the action on my new site at www.twistconsulting.com

Ever since I decided upon my career path people have asked me 'what exactly do you do?' A Marketing Communications Specialist sounds like a made-up job doesn't it? Here is a what I do (put in simple terms). Anytime you read an article in the newspaper about a company, celebrity or a product, often times there is a person behind the scenes (besides the reporter) who has tried to make the coverage come to fruition. I am that person. I write press releases and call/email reporters with story ideas about my clients. I also do things like writing for websites, writing brochures and coordinating clients' booths at trade shows.

Even though our family will soon be re-locating to the San Francisco Bay Area, I can take on clients in both Canada and the US. The beauty of my business is that I just need access to a phone and my computer. I can work anywhere in the world while bumming around in my pajamas until noon. I happen to do some of my best work in my favorite lululemon workout pants.

I have also started up another blog on my company's website that you can check out here
I will also have it listed under 'Blogs We Lurk' sidebar, so you will be able to see when I update things. My work blog will mostly be a place for me to post about new projects, clients and also Tips/Tricks of my trade.

Now back to my other full-time job. Out of the corner of my eye I just saw Lily drinking out of a day-old bottle and dancing around without her diaper. My career as a MOTHER is definitely my most challenging role yet..

Movie Madness

Hello my film- savvy friends! I have finally watched a couple of flicks that I feel worthy of sharing with all of you.

Mad Men Season 2- Have I mentioned how much I love to watch an entire season of a cable show in one sitting? If you have not tried it, I definitely recommend giving this method of viewing a shot. It is pure and instant gratification to be able to pop in the next DVD rather than wait another week (or season) to conclude a show's cliff-hanger. I digress... the Mad Men series is one of the most creative, well-written and engaging shows to come around in a while. The show centers around the character of Donald Draper and his life in the 1960's. Draper is a high-powered advertising executive on NYC's Madison Ave., hence the show's name Mad Men. Mad Men's parody of life in the 1960's is a decadent throw-back to a time when pregnant women indulged in gin & tonics and recycling was still a foreign concept. Season 2, did not disappoint by focusing on deeper character development. In all Mad Men Season 2 satisfied this viewer like a slice of good ol' American apple pie.
Grade: A

Che Part 1 & 2- Viva Che!? Hmm... I have struggled a bit with this film, or technically I should say films because I had to rent two separate DVD's. Che Guevara was a compelling, counter-cultural leader who was passionate about the plight of the poor and those slighted by modern society. He sounds like a great guy, right? Well, Che was also a Marxist revolutionary who was a key player in bringing about the communist regime in Cuba and negotiated the purchase of nuclear weapons from the USSR during the Cold War. Some claim that he was also a mass-murderer that ordered countless executions. So basically, love him or hate him, Che was an interesting guy. Director Steven Soderbergh, decided to document Che's rise and eventual demise in a four hour biopic. Seasoned actor, Benicio Del Toro, gives us a very convincing portrayal of the revolutionary. Part 1 of Che chronicles the leader's time in Cuba. While Part 2 focuses just on Che's time spent trying to drum up a coup in the country of Bolivia. In my opinion, Part 1 was a far superior film to Part 2. Simply put, Part 1 was an interesting movie that captured a variety of scenarios to show us who Che was. In Part 2 it seems like the film ran out of budget, so the director filmed two hours of Del Toro skulking around the jungles of Bolivia with his troop of not-so merry men. I would recommend just checking Part 1 of this movie, it is still a complete film within itself. By the way, 98% of Che is in Spanish, so unless you aced your Espanol classes be prepared for a few hours of reading.
Grade: Part 1- B, Part 2- D, Averages Out to: C

Obsessed- I love to intersperse my more intense movies with a bit of fluff. Obsessed was a perfect piece of fun, brainless fluff. Starring, Beyonce Knowles, Ali Larter and not as well-known actor Idris Elba, Obsessed centers around a temp-workers psychotic obsession with a high powered executive. As a wife and mother this film downright put me on edge (but in a good way). One of the main reasons that I rented Obsessed was because that there was a serious female beat-down scene where Beyonce wipes the floor with psycho Ali Larter. The fight did not disappoint! I wanted to climb into my screen and assist Beyonce in all her glory. This film was surprisingly clean despite its subject matter. There were some rather glaring holes in the storyline (chalk it up to mediocre writing?), but overall Obsessed is a fun way to spend a lazy evening at home.
Grade: B

Blog and Brag

Once upon a time there was a clumsy teenager that was the last to be chosen for teams in gym class. This girl tried in vain to play a variety of sports but usually ended up spending more time warming the bench rather then kicking/hitting/shooting the game winning goal. A few years later this decidedly unathletic girl went for a jog outside and lo and behold she found a good fit. She just kept running and running.

That's right my sporty friends, running is my game and I am good at it. I am currently training for my first half-marathon and I hit my double digit milestone today. I ran for 10 1/2 stinking miles (15.75 km)!

Sometimes I wish that I could go back in time and reassure my 13 year old self that in 'real life' no one gives a crap if you can hit a softball. But it sure does feel good to know that I can physically push myself further than I thought possible. OK, that's all, no more boring you with my late-night brag fest.

The Face of Measles

Day #4 of Baby Measles... we are getting a little restless with being housebound!

News Flash... Roseola

Ever heard of Roseola? Sounds like a type of flower doesn't it? One of the things that 'they' don't tell you when you have a kid is that pretty much every child gets a case of Roseola, or the 'baby measles,' before the age of 5. I figured that the measles had been eradicated by vaccinations since the 1950's, but apparently this is a whole other can of worms.

Anyways, poor little Lil came down with a high fever a couple of days ago and after 3 days of waiting for the babe to feel better we decided to visit the doctor. The doctor took one look at her little torso and pointed out a very faint little rash. Lil was diagnosed with a case of baby measles.
She seems to be doing better, but I think the fact that we have allowed her to carry her 'blankie' and her pacifier around with her wherever she goes has helped to relieve her symptoms :)