Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Creepy Vintage Ads

This has been circulating for a couple of weeks but I couldn't resist sharing it with everyone... This list is courtesy of retrocomedy.com.

These are real, untouched advertisements from the good old days. It doesn’t matter if it’s lovely ladies or adorable clowns, somehow these old-time ad wizards found ways to traumatize us while pedaling everyday products.

Enjoy them now, call your therapist later!

15. White Bread Demon

“Bread is swell, but what I’m really excited about is eating jelly made from the blood of the innocent!”

14. French Suicide Sausage
It’s enough to make you want to eat Kosher forever.

13. A Girl Around The House
It’s nice to have a girl around the house… especially if you are a psychopath serial killer who makes women into rugs!

12. Chubby
Who needs self-esteem when you can have a free fashion book for chubbies? Also, proving that advertising weight representation has always been screwed up, the girl pictured is totally not chubby.

11. Christmas Weapons
The family that guns together, has funs together.

10. Eye patch. Shirt. Baby Tiger.
Sexy?

9. Chase & Sandborn Spanking
She totally deserves it. Seriously, what kind of woman doesn’t “store test” for fresher coffee?

8. Fry’s Chocolate Nightmare
Nothing wants to make consumers buy chocolate more than 5 faces of a sickly kid looking 5 different shades of miserable.

7. Root Beer Baby!
Mama, please DO NOT give your baby another glass of Root Beer. It is clearly doing something horrible to him. He is terrifying.

6. Locked Out
You better use Lysol, or your husband will install cartoon locks on the door.

5. Pears Soap Disaster
“Pears Soap- now with such a soothing lather, you won’t notice that your baby has gotten into a horrible accident!”

4. Postage Meter Murder
“Is it always illegal to kill a woman?” This is a truly important question and makes us want to buy a new postage meter.

3. Shave Yourself
The old man baby’s gonna sing karaoke into a razor! Hooray!

2. Baby Soft
JonBenét Ramsey, eat your heart out. (Too soon?) This ad makes us want to scream, gouge out our eyes and then barf.

1. Chocolate Poulain
Drink that cocoa, or this clown will murder you in your sleep.


4 comments:

Tricia said...

haha, chubbies

Tiffany & Robert said...

I fear that Forest might look a little bit like the creepy old man baby with the gillette razor!
These are sooooo good! I especially love the root beer one! Who gives a baby root beer?! hahaha

Kirsten said...

Okay the pig and the man with the tiger and eye patch made me laugh out loud! Both in amusement and shock!! So funny and super creepy!!!!

The G Fam said...

Kirsten I am glad that you laughed out loud- I did too and was compelled to share.

I have so many favorites that it is hard for me to narrow them down...